We know what you’re thinking, and it’s what a lot of his detractors say every day – pigeons can’t speak English, they can’t type, they can certainly tweet, but not in the way that we can. Well, let it be known that there is one such bird who can do all of these things, it’s Central Square Pigeon, the official spokesman of all pigeons in the Cambridge neighborhood who wish they could be as talented as he. He makes us laugh, AND he makes us think. When’s the last time a pigeon asked YOU a provocative question, such as, “Why did they call it cereal instead of morning soup?”
We asked him for some tips on how to be very good at Twitter; here’s what he had to say:
tips for being so good at twitter
by central square pigeon esq.
1. tweet a lot: people follow lots of other people on twitter, sometimes more than one hundred other people. to make sure that people see your tweets, tweet a bunch of times a day. i know it can be hard – sometimes you don’t know what to tweet about or have a busy day full of hip-hop dance classes, day-job work, gluten allergies, or your cousin’s parole hearing. but you need to tweet a lot otherwise people will be like “i guess that guy died and stopped tweeting or something, let’s go to taco bell and forget about him.”
2. be yourself: some twitter people are like ‘be professional and respectful and don’t make fun of bros” but i’m like, “whatever, guys. skate or die 4 life.” it’s ok to share your personality & life interests on twitter because it’s what makes you unique and lets single ladies know what you’re all about. like, for example, my tweeting has raised public awareness about the dangers of hawks and ghosts (and the super-rare north american ghost hawk). who knows how many lives i’ve saved. also, i keep followers informed with tweets about dance moves, snacks, my best friend rob gronkowski, and pop cultures that people like.
3. haters gonna hate: every day i hear stuff like “you’re too small to be on twitter” or “pigeons can’t use iphones” or “did you get your beak stuck in a diet dr. pepper can on the corner of prospect street this morning?” what you gotta do is ignore the negative stuff and walk around like you’re a total boss (like, a main boss, not some wimpy mini-boss on the water level after you get the blue amulet). be proud of who you are and what you do.
